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Written by Michael McInally
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Monday, 08 March 2010 23:09 |
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In the same week that figures
showed a rise of thirteen percent in
the number of young children
committing crimes, a couple of
disturbing cases hit the headlines.
John Venables, one of the killers of
James Bulger, is back behind bars for
failing to stick to the terms of his
licence. Home Secretary Jack Straw
appeared at a press conference to
assure us, the public, who wanted to
know what the breach was, that it
was in the public interest not to tell
us. Meanwhile, the men in white
coats who keep the Yorkshire Ripper,
Peter Sutcliffe under lock, key and
hopefully sedation, in a mental
hospital for his own safety and the
safety of others, are knocking on the
door of the High Court with the
Ripper’s lawyers by their side,
because they want him released
because he is no longer ‘mad’ and
presents no risk to the public. I see;
now he is merely ‘bad,’ and if that is
the case, rather than release him,
why does he not now begin to serve
out his life sentence in a maximum
security cell for the horrific murders
of thirteen women and the assault of
seven more, who were lucky to
escape with their lives? At the time of
his trial, the Ripper’s lawyers tried to
argue that because of his diminished
responsibility, he should be found
guilty of manslaughter, but the judge
did not buy it, Sutcliffe stood trial,
and the jury convicted him of
murder. One thing I have learned in
my short spell on this planet; law has
nothing to do with justice, fairness
and morality, and it is all about
arguing a ‘legal’ point of view. Where
is King Solomon when you need
him? |
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Written by Michael McInally
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Monday, 08 March 2010 23:09 |
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Looking forward to the first ever, USA
styled, political party leaders
debating in a televised, UK election
special? Me neither! Is it a case of
turning up in the studio and arguing
the toss? Hell, no! It has taken
months of behind the scenes
negotiating by the spin doctors and
the telly companies to get them to
agree as to how the debates will be
structured. Clapping will not be
allowed by the invited studio
audience, in case it influences the
viewing voters. Invited? For ‘balance,’
the members have been hand picked
and will only be allowed to ask
questions which have been cleared. I
guess my gilt edged invitation was
lost in the post. When you see them
shaking hands at the end of the
debates, even that is stage managed;
they have agreed to it beforehand.
Here’s a question I might ‘wunt’ to ask
‘Shrek.’ How is it Gordon, that during
your Government’s destruction of
once Great Britain, things have got so
bad that a line of cocaine is cheaper
than a cup of coffee on the streets, at
two quid? Not my figure, snorted out
of thin air through a cut down straw;
it is the price quoted in a
Government report. Try sticking that
on your expenses, lads. The report
highlighted the fact that celebrities,
who by some miracle have survived
the experience of snorting enough
cocaine to fell a rhinoceros, make
drug taking look ’cool’ and
encourage teenagers to give it a go. |
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Written by Michael McInally
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Monday, 08 March 2010 23:08 |
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How’s your heart? The ‘it’s good for
you, it’s bad for you’ nonsense
continues. Were you under the
impression that an aspirin a day
keeps the heart attack at bay? Me
too! Now, after research at Edinburgh
University, it seems that the risk of
internal bleeding from taking aspirin
outweighs the risk of suffering a
heart attack, and in any case, taking
an aspirin as an insurance policy is
not advisable if you do not have a
heart condition in the first place.
However, according to scientists at
Kaiser Permanente, a health
insurance company, drinking four
cups of coffee a day helps to
maintain the rhythm of the heart
beat, and lowers the risk of being
hospitalised by eighteen percent; so
now caffeine is good for you, until
next week when another survey will
tell us the opposite. |
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Written by Michael McInally
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Monday, 08 March 2010 23:07 |
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A couple of weeks ago, I ’umped
about the need to protect children
from the dangers of the world at
large and sometimes, from their own
parents. Just when you think that it
can’t get any worse, step forward,
Sarah Burge, who has undergone
one hundred and fifty cosmetic
procedures costing half a million
quid to enhance her appearance, as
she picks up the needle to inject
Botox into the face of her own
daughter Hannah. The child, now
sixteen, was just fifteen the first time
she was Botoxed by a professional,
and she wanted it done because she
did not want to look ‘haggard‘ at
twenty five. Now Mummy, a trained
practitioner does it for her. Shall I
remind you what Botox is? A toxin, a
bacteria which causes paralysis of the
muscles, which is why women find it
difficult to crinkle their top lips into a
smile to show their appreciation after
having it done. Sarah, a former Bunny
girl, has been Botoxed, lipo-sucked,
nipped, tucked and has had her now
quite magnificent breasts lifted back
into place, and she works on her
daughter to stop her from going to
back street operators. |
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