Only time for a little one this week!
Ooh-er! I lost just under a pound, which I was surprised and delighted about. Still haven’t been back to the gym – this is what happens me, I get out of the swing of things and it’s hard to get back on it! This week though, you’ll see me (if you’re into that sort of thing) sweating and red faced, jumping around like an eejit.
I did attempt a jog on Sunday morning, but ended up nearly vomiting so I think I was being overambitious. Quick soup recipe before I go: Roast a butternut squash (skin and all) for 40 mins, separately dry fry a chopped onion, some ginger and garlic. Add 2 litres of stock to all the ingredients, simmer and blitz. Delish! Bye!
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Dear Laura
Since moving to Spain I have been reading your column every week and I now wonder if you’d be able to give me a free reading (as advertised in the Coastrider). I have been very happy since I moved here but don’t seem to have made many friends. I split up with my long-term boyfriend before moving over to Spain so came over here on my own with my 2 cats. I have tried some of the internet dating sites but haven’t met anyone on them who I am attracted to. They are all too old or live miles away (I am in my early forties.) I am beginning to feel quite lonely over here, the weather hasn’t been good for ages and where I live is really quiet (you could hear a pin drop!) I am renting at the moment but have been looking for an apartment to buy but now I’m not so sure that I want to stay in Spain. Do you think Spain is finished? (as so many people seem to think) Also I haven’t really looked for work over here but think I need to do something as Spain is proving to be more expensive that I had imagined. I don’t have many friends back in England as when I split with N many of our (so called) mutual friends sided with him. I feel I’m in a bit of a rut at the moment. Nothing seems to be happening in my life and I feel a lack of direction. I have always been a hard worker and felt that I deserved a break from the daily grind but now I’m not so sure. Is it possible you could give me a reading for say the next 6 months as this will hopefully clear my head a bit and help me make some decisions for my future. Laura you are an Angel x W
Dear W
I get the feeling you were planning on moving overseas with your ex partner until things went wrong. I also feel there was something to do with his work situation which stopped him from moving with you and I also feel your move happened very quickly and the relationship ended abruptly.
I see you turning your back on the UK and starting to make your new life here, moving onto the next chapter of your life. Things are going to start changing for you and I feel you will start doing either a course or taking up employment which will involve a degree of retraining. This will break down the general lethargy you are experiencing at present. There are 2 men who are going to be involved in your life in the not too distant future. One will be fair and portrays himself as the Knight of Cups, the other man darker, who portrays himself as the Knight of Swords. The Knight of Swords is a more dynamic personality, someone who is impulsive. The Knight of Cups I believe is your ex. I feel you would like to rekindle things with your ex but I feel there has been too much said and done over the past few months but this other man could be just who you’re looking for - for the moment.
You will be mixing in new circles, you will start feeling happier and more secure in your life over here too. I do see contracts being signed and I do see a new home for you. You may well find that you are not alone when you move house as the 4 of Cups portrays a happy, joyous couple skipping towards the house in the distance.
I have drawn you an Angel Card which says ‘Be grateful for the chance to learn while living’

Hi Laura
I don’t know what to do next. I invested some money in my daughters business, buying stock etc., and now she has decided that she is not making enough money and wants to close it down. I have tried reasoning with her but she is adamant that nothing is going to improve and that she should cut her losses now. The only problem is most of her losses will be my loss as I helped her to purchase the lease, helped her decorate the shop and helped her buy stock. I have even been working in the shop when she has been too tired herself. I can’t see my way out of this. I don’t want to fall out with my only daughter and I can’t afford to lose the amount of money which is at stake.
I have even thought of running the shop myself but she would then want me to buy the lease to enable her to move onto pastures new. This has turned into a very expensive exercise and I cannot afford to lose this money.
Do you feel there is any solution to our problem in the foreseeable future? T
Dear T
I think you have to look at damage limitation here. You have lost a lot of money so far and you can either continue losing more or you can try and recoup some of what you have lost so far. I don’t see there being a future in this business, you feel cheated and upset but spending good money after bad is not really going to help the situation. Also in today’s climate, I feel you really need to have a burning desire to even have half a chance of a business working and if your daughter has had enough she certainly won’t be putting the necessary energy and effort into it to try and make it work. I feel once you have made a decision, then stick to it. Look at how you can sell the lease on, possibly you can sell it as a ‘going concern’ complete with stock.
Try and advertise it on the ex-pat forums as there are still many people wanting to follow their Spanish dream. A mature man with a fair complexion is evident in your reading followed by the Wheel of Fortune.
The Wheel indicates that your life will move in a completely different way – what goes up, must go down etc. You have been down now so the only way is up! The Magician indicates that you will have a fresh start so this tells me you will find a way to resolve your problems and I do believe this man to be instrumental. There will be new work opportunities coming your way which will be cause for celebration. Your finances will also be healthier as a result. Your Angel Card says ‘In the maze of life, call for God - he will guide you’

Dear Laura
Everyone is finding life over here in Spain hard at the moment including me and my husband. We have enough money to keep us going for the next few years but are worried we might run out eventually. One idea my son has is to buy up some properties as they are so plentiful and cheap at the moment and then rent them out as holiday lets.
I wouldn’t mind doing this as it would give me something to do. I feel I could run them quite easily but my husband isn’t so sure. He used to work in the building trade back home so would be able to do the day to day maintenance if anything needed doing and it would give us both an interest but he feels he is too old to start taking on the responsibility of properties. He says he came out here to retire and doesn’t want to have to start work again. I really would like to have a project over here to keep me occupied. What do you think? Thanks P
Dear P
Spain is still very much in a recession so I think you should exercise caution here.
What you don’t want to do is to buy lots of bargain properties, tie up all your capital and find you can’t rent them out, or find they lie empty for most of the year. I suggest you mention the idea of buying another property to people in passing and I think you will be surprised as how many people have a ‘spare apartment’ which is lying empty. Many people buy something small as a holiday home then decide to move over here permanently. They then decide that the apartment is too small so look for a villa to buy. My advice to you would be to set up a small property management property.
Make money out of finding tenants for other people’s property rather than tying up your capital and then having to find tenants for your own. I have drawn you an Angel Card too which says ‘Creativity is the power to transform little into much’

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It’s time to drown the shamrock again! Irish people (and the many who wish they were Irish) all over the Costa Blanca are preparing for St Patrick’s Day.
March 17th is the feast of Ireland’s patron saint, Paddy, but in modern times, the day has become an excuse to throw one-helluva-party in honour of all things “Éireannach”.
St Patrick • Naomh Pádraig
Of course, the day wouldn’t have been possible without the man himself, St Patrick.
He drove the snakes from Ireland and he brought us Christianity. He was born in 387 and died on 17th March 493.
Young Patrick was kidnapped by Irish gurriers who sold him as a slave to a chieftain in Co Antrim. He spent six years herding sheep before he managed to escape but returned soon afterwards to bring the word of God to the pagan Irish tribes.
Shamrock • Seamróg
Patrick used the shamrock to explain the holy trinity. The three leaved plant has been associated with St Patrick and all things Irish ever since.
Tradition • Traidisiúin
The normal procedure for Irish people on St Patrick’s Day will be to drink as many pints of Guinness as is humanly possible within 24 hours (we’re safe enough this year as Paddy’s Day falls on a Wednesday, but look out when it takes place on a weekend in 2012, it could easily extend into an almighty bender). We shall also sing songs about the auld sod (that’s the Emerald Isle for anyone who doesn’t know) and generally revel in our Irishness. Many people from Dublin (aka “The Pale”) will develop strange “culchie” accents and their normal conversation will be littered with phrases such as “Well Holy God” and “Shure now, ‘tis grand” and “Have a wee dram”. These nouveauculchies will also spend the day beginning sentences with “Says I to her” and “Says she to me” or similar nonsense.
When living in Ireland, the family tradition on every St Patrick’s Day is for Daddy to bring all the kids to the parade. Mammy usually feigns a headache in order to avoid having to go into town in the lashings of rain (it is the law in Ireland that it rains on March 17th).
Vocabulary • Stór focal
Many non Irish people will join in the party spirit by descending on their local Irish bar and trying to drink as much as their Irish neighbours.
The beauty of Saint Patrick’s Day is that people of all nationalities are welcome to join in on the celebrations and often, non Irish people will celebrate March 17th with more gusto than the Irish themselves.
If you’re planning on visiting your Irish watering hole this year, you may hear some phrases that you don’t understand. Don’t panic! Below, we’ve printed the first half of an crash-course in Irish slang, so that you can keep up! More in next week’s CoastRider...

A
Ages : long time
Agro : fight
Alco : someone who’s always drunk
Amadáin (Omadhan) : idiot
Any Use? any good? as in "Was the film any use?"
Ara be whist : shut up.
Arse : backside
Arseways : "I did it all arseways" = I made a complete mess of it!
Arthurs : a pint of Guinness; as in Arthur Guinness the founder.
That's Arthur Guinness talking (phr): when someone is talking rubbish while under the influence
Ask me arse; go and sh*te; eff off and don't be annoying me (phr): general ways of telling someone to shut up
At it : making love
Aul Man or Fella : father
Aul Wan : mother
B
Babby : little child - baby
Baby Power : miniature bottle of Powers Irish Whiskey (favoured size for ladies handbags)
Bad dose : tough old time with illness
Bad egg : a dodgy bloke or a troublemaker
Bag of Taytos : packet of crisps
Bags : messy job
Bake : face/mouth
Baldy, as in "I haven't got a baldy" (phr): I haven't a clue
Balls : to mess up, e.g. I made a balls of that job
Banger : old car
Bang on : perfectly correct
Banjaxed : broken, no good
Belt : hit, assault
Be wide : be careful
Be dog wide : be extra vigilant
Bevvies : alcoholic drinks
Bingo wings : flabby underarms on a woman
Bird : girl generally, or girlfriend
Black : very crowded, busy - as in 'town was black!'
Black Stuff,the : Guinness
Blarney : nonsense
Blather : talk
Bleedin' deadly : brilliant
Bloody : strengthing adjective, used liberally
BOBFOC : Body Off Baywatch, Face Off Crimewatch, eg. "she's a Bobfoc"
Bog : country area - where culchies come from
Bogey : snot; something wrong, as in he's bogey or I got a bogey pint
Bogs : public toilets
Bogtrotter : another word for a culchie
Bold : naughty
Boss : polite generic term when you're chatting to someone
Bowsie : young good-for-nothing, who hangs around on street corners
Bouwler : ugly person
Boyo : a bit of a lad
Brasser : woman of ill repute, who charges but a brass coin for her services
Brickin' it : nervous to the point of soiling oneself
Brutal : terrible
Bucketing : raining very heavily
Buckled : drunk
Bucko : lad, player
Bud : polite generic term when you're chatting to someone
Business : cool - as in, 'It's the business' when asked about a new film, for example.
C
Cacks : trousers
Cake-hole : mouth
Canary, nearly had a : had a fright
Carry-on : argument, commotion
Cat : no good, awful, very bad
Cess, bad : Bad luck
Cha : tea
Chancer : dodgy/risky character
Chinwag : a chat
Chipper : fish and chip shop
Chiseller : young child
Chucker-out : doorman/bouncer
Clatter : slap
Cod : having someone on, as in: "Aw, g'wan, yer only coddin' me"
Cog : copy someone else's work at school
Cop on (to yourself ) : get a life/don't be so stupid
Cow Juice : milk
Crack : fart
Cracker : wonderful
Craic : (pronounced crack) fun time and good conversation
Cub : young boy
Culchie : a city dweller's name for a country person
Cute hoors : usually politicians - it implies deviousness and crookedness.
Cuttie : young girl
Continued next week

BOOSTING SELF ESTEEM
Self esteem is all about how we feel about ourselves. A child who has good self esteem is more likely to take on new experiences, make new friends, admit to mistakes and take responsibility for themselves. On the other hand, if a child has poor self esteem, they might shy away from new experiences, declare a task or event as “stupid”, let others make decisions and therefore take the blame if things go wrong. Thus helping children to achieve a good level of confidence and self esteem is one of the most important things you can do for your child.
Encourage a sense of achievement. Look through photo albums together sometimes and ask them to think about how much harder things were when they were smaller and how much they have achieved. Keep photo albums for each child with a couple of photos for each year of their lives. Put captions on the photos to reflect successes and achievements . These milestones don’t have to be big things, just things that provide satisfaction such as completing a piece of homework or tidying their room for the first time. All achievements are worthy of positive feedback from you as this is the best type of reward.
Avoid Making Comparisons. Comparisons are seldom helpful. Pointing out how well another child is doing against your own is going to achieve nothing favourable and might cause open warfare between your child and the other one you have mentioned. It is also good to have a healthy disregard towards stereotypical notions of beauty and body image relating to the supermodels and footballers we see in the media. These are unachievable goals for most of us and serve no true purpose.
Question but don’t argue with Negative Comments about themselves. Children might make negative comments about themselves for a number of reasons. Although they might truly believe it, they might also want to provoke discussion or denial. While it can be hard to distinguish between the two, the accompanying body language can give a big clue. If your young person says, “I’m so ugly” ask them why they are saying that . The object is to let them know that you are not going to play the pantomime game of “Oh no you’re not, Oh yes I am!” but you are prepared to have a discussion if they want one. The chances are they are seeking reassurance or comfort in which case ask them if that is what they want before offering it to them.
Talking about achievements. There is a distinction between feeling proud of achievements and boasting. Boasting puts someone else down at the same time. When we recognize our achievements and feel good about ourselves, it doesn’t mean that we have to be big headed but celebrating milestones is a sure fire way to raise levels of confidence and self esteem.
Let them know you are pleased. On its own your pride in their achievements won’t change anything but over time, knowing that you believe in them will. Many young people feel that their parents do not recognize when they have done something well so redress the balance!
Give Adult Praise and Approval. Make sure you give specific praise as this speaks volumes over and above a general “well done”! So saying, “Thank you for your help with the shopping.
Without you it would have taken twice as long” will really hit the spot. Make sure you also recognize effort and intention and not just the end result.
Don’t Nag. It just doesn’t work and will leave you all feeling miserable!
Encourage Kindness to Yourself and Others. We are quick to teach children to be kind to others but what about themselves? Failures and disappointments are part of life and help us to learn. Encouraging children to take comfort in what they have learned and what they have done well will help them to keep mistakes in perspective and treat it as a positive learning experience.
Use Positive Criticism. It is your job as a parent to make sure that your kids are on the right track so there must be times when you have to criticize. In these circumstances, framing it in a positive way will make all the difference. Such as, “I know you have tried and I am pleased you have made an effort but….”
Don’t Take Over. A parent’s role is to help young people come to terms with disappointment . Help them to go through the options available to them and arrive at their own decision. In the long term this will do wonders for their morale and self esteem as they will have confidence in their own abilities to meet any problems head on.
Doing everything you can to help your children, whatever their age, feel good about themselves, will set them up for life. Inevitably, life can be difficult at times but being able to learn from mistakes, think about the options and change course is a life long skill which will help them navigate adulthood.