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Father of the Bride
Traditionally as father of the bride, your
role is to support your daughter in every
way. Usually, this also means
financially! So what's new?
Some fathers choose to participate in all
aspects of the wedding preparations,
others prefer to stand back and allow the
groom, bride and her mother make the
arrangements. Either way is fine.
There are some tasks that traditionally
belong to you, but any or all of these can
be undertaken either by the bridal
couple or other members of the bride's
family or close friends. And frankly,
your daughter may well have already
decided what she wants you to do!
Best advice is to use the list below as a
kick off point, and discuss who will do
(and pay for) what, as soon as your
daughter and her fiancé have set a date.
Counting the cost
Nowadays, the cost of even the most
modest wedding can be astronomical. A
wise father will set his budget as early
as possible and advise the couple as to
what he is able, and prepared to spend.
Then there can be no misunderstandings
and the couple are able to budget
accordingly and decide where their
priorities lie.
Traditionally, the bride's family pays
for:
~ Engagement and wedding press
announcements
~ The bride's and bridesmaid's dresses
(many brides now pay for their own)
~ Outfits for the mother and father of
the bride
~ Flowers for the church and
reception (groom pays for bouquets and
buttonholes)
~ Photographer
~ Most of the transport
~ Wedding stationery
~ The reception and all that entails -
the big expense!
Sharing the cost
Nowadays most people are only too
well aware of the costs involved in a
wedding and often the groom's parents
are pleased to contribute to the occasion
in some way, so that their son and future
daughter-in-law may have the wedding
they want. However, this is not a
foregone conclusion and you should not
expect the groom's parents to share the
bill, or be offended if they don't offer. If
the groom's parents tactfully make an
offer and you are happy for them to
contribute, then make a list of who's
paying for what as soon as possible, to
avoid any misunderstandings. One
common solution is that the groom's
family provides the wedding cake and
pays for any food at the evening
reception. Or you may want to do a
straight 50:50 split. Tread carefully
though. Ask them first what they had in
mind!
Fathers on the wedding day
If a wedding were a film, the parents of
the bride would also take star billing.
You and the bride's mother are second
only to the lead characters in the show:
the bride and groom themselves.
What do I wear?
The bride usually has strong
preferences on whether she wishes the
men in the wedding party to wear
morning dress or lounge suits. She may
even set a dress code of black tie. You
should expect to be consulted, but if
your views differ wildly from those of
your daughter, you might have to give
in. Basically, if the groom is wearing
morning dress, you should too.
Unless you already have a suit of your
own, consult with the groom about
hiring similar outfits so that you
achieve a coordinated effect on the day.
Groom, best man, ushers, bride's father
and groom's father should all look
similar.
Remember that a hired suit needs to be
fitted and ordered well in advance so
that it is ready for the big day. Of
course, as father of the bride you can
wear ceremonial attire such as a kilt or
dress uniform if you are entitled.
Traditionally, the bride's father makes
the first speech at the wedding
reception. If this is something you feel
you absolutely can't do, then you can
ask a very good friend or relative,
possibly your daughter's godfather, to
do it for you. Remember though that
weddings are occasions for family and
friends and you'll have a hugely
appreciative audience - even just a few
words as father of the bride will go
down a storm.
If you are making the speech yourself,
then prepare the content well in
advance. The father of the bride's
speech is usually light-hearted and
based on family recollections -
preferably not embarrassing ones - and
humorous asides. Sincerity and brevity
are always much appreciated!
If you
would like anymore information on
getting married or having a blessing the
contact Bespoke Weddings on
662394701 or email at
info@bespokeweddingsinspain.com
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Extra services offered by
some banks and the pitfalls...
As most of us know very well know, there is
a huge choice of individual Banks available
to us in this area of Spain, broken down as I
have written about previously, into 2 broad
categories of Bancos and Cajas.
As I have also previously written, the choice
of bank will be affected by a number of
personal factors, like location, an ability to
communicate in your chosen language and
convenient ATM facilities. Following on
from this, some of you will, no doubt, still
experience major problems with the receipt
of post and so a mailbox at your bank may
seem like a suitable alternative. Please be
aware, however, that this may not
completely solve all of your problems. This
is because, I have now discovered, some
Banks refuse to accept, for example,
packages or parcels. The post they are
prepared to handle is only that which will fit
into the post boxes they install within the
banking hall. Needless to say, I have not
been able to find this information anywhere
on the relevant bank's websites or within its
advertising literature. Accordingly, if you do
intend to receive packages or parcels, rather
than having multiple facilities, consider
opening a mailbox with one of the bespoke
facilities such as the local Mail Rooms.
Another factor to be aware of is that the
Branch Manager, or a designated assistant,
once a week generally collect post, more or
less and the local post office does not usually
deliver it. Again, past experience has shown
that if the Branch Manager is away for a
holiday then the post may not be collected.
Please do, once again remember, you have
been warned!!
Another facility that is available from some
banks or, at the least, some branches of some
Banks is the ability to place articles of
particular value into safe custody. This is a
very useful facility if you have valuables that
you do not use all of the time and you wish
not to leave permanently at home. As those
of us that have been directly affected as a
result of robbery, sadly, it is a very real fact
of life. Naturally, if you do use the safe
custody facility, it is important to ensure that
the items lodged are independently insured.
Whilst we hope that the Bank is secure, such
robberies do happen albeit occasionally!
If you have any specific questions with
regards to banking in Spain, generally, or
transferring funds between Great Britain and
Spain please forward them to
office@coastrider.net and I will endeavour
to respond.
Compiled by Graham Pink of The Mortgage Tienda
Tel: 968 195 007, email: graham@themortgagetienda.com
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Let's all save water!
As Spain is in the middle of its worst drought in over half a century with forest fires ravaging the countryside and riverbeds lying dry and scorched. Environmental officials have warned that the poor water management system means the crisis is only going to worsen.
Environment Minister Cristina Narbona has warned that "It is very probable that next year will also be a dry year."
Both livestock and crop farming have suffered a blow from the drought and experts believe wild animals to be in danger due to the water shortage. Contributing to the problem are the hundreds of new urbanisations and countless golf courses, all of which are a huge strain on water consumption.
We have been contacted by a number of readers this week regarding water wastage (see one of our letters on page 18). We decided this is the perfect time to offer everyone some advice on conserving water, so here are some special CoastRider water saving tips:
Saving Water Outdoors
- When watering the garden, use a watering can rather than a sprinkler. A sprinkler can use 1000 litres of water in an hour - as much as six people use in a day. -Collect rain water for plants. Almost impossible here at this time of year, but perhaps something to keep in mind for the winter months.
- Use 30 times less water by washing the car with a bucket rather than a hose.
- Fix irrigation system leaks. If you have an older irrigation system, over 50% and even more than 75% of the water can be lost to leaks.
- Water lawns during the early morning hours when temperatures and wind speed are the lowest. This reduces losses from evaporation.
- Raise the lawn mower blade to at least three inches. A lawn cut higher encourages grass roots to grow deeper, shades the root system and holds soil
moisture better than a closely-clipped lawn.
Saving Water Indoors
- Take a shower instead of a bath (30 litres rather than 80 litres). If you're really serious about saving water, you could always share a shower with a friend!!!
- Don't leave the tap running when brushing your teeth. This action would save a family of four an entire bathful of water EVERY DAY.
- Use a bowl of water rather then a running tap when peeling vegetables.
- Do a full load of washing or dishwashing rather than a half load.
- Make sure all your dripping taps are repaired. Homes can waste more than 10% due to leaking, which costs both you and the environment.
- Replace old toilets. (The toilet is the single largest water user in your home).
- Replace your washing machine if it is very old. (The washing machine is the second largest water user in your home). Energy efficient machines use 35-50% less water and 50% less energy per load. This saves you money on both your water and electricity bills.
- Never pour water down the drain when there may be another use for it like watering plants or cleaning.
- Verify your home is free of hidden leaks. Read your water meter before and after a two hour period when not water is being used. If the meter does not read the same, there is a leak somewhere along the line.
- Rather than using a waste disposal unit in your kitchen (which uses a lot of water to operate properly), start a compost heap as an alternative method of disposing of your home's kitchen waste.
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